I dreamt

of You....

Or I think it was You.....

Inspired again......

Filled in Your Love.....

If it wasn't You I deffinitely told myself it was You.....

And I cannot explain the feeling I had waking to the thought of You....

I hope Your well

That
Your day finds You whole

That Your heart finds its glow

That my heart finds You soon....




I've let time run over me and have done an irresponsible job here....I'm sorry....

I'm glad that I've been able to drink deep again....

That my fervor may not dwindle so easily from the race

That I may not stumble with mere men....

And run swiftly with the horses...

full day

and a long one.....

it is time to rest....

I really did have quite the amazing time last night with a friend visiting and hanging out till the late night hours....

he is so encouraging and enriching to have around....

and reminds me of some of the things i believe in God that are sometimes hard to remember....
yet easy to be brought back to....

It was a great day all together and i really feel amazingly blessed. I do hope that my heart can remain open to all of the love that has been going around.....

and my my heart by open....
to give all the love i have received.....
as freely as it was given to me.....

at the fingertips

there seems to be a world of possibilities currently....

in reality....they have been at the fingertips of my father....

of his father......

Of a new friend I made....

of one of my closest friends.....

of some of my family members.....

of a recent friend to come into town.....

so much ability and possibility....

literally, there is an abundant of resources and possessions that could make such a difference in their lives.....as well as my life, even if it just was what I have.....

do You know the amazing things they have done with all these things......

of course not....cause it hasn't happened....
it all sits there
it doesn't get used
it drys to rust
decaying wood
collecting dust as though it was valuable....

It is a great evil to be so well equipped and yet doing so very little with what I have been given....maybe more just what I acquired....and then continue to acquire....as though by simply owning what I wanted was suppose to create some type of new ability for me.....

to whom much is given, much is required.....

and i need to start doing what i have been lacking on.....
i hope we all can start doing with what we have....

that nothing remains idle
that we are diligent with our hands
feet
back
brains
core
spirit
heart
soul.....

small steps written out with what is manageable, and after that becomes easy enough....we can start another few steps.....we can so do this....and I'm going to try to make it possible for as many as possible....

at our fingertips we hold the world.....
lets make sure it looks the way we always dreamed of it then...and not just what we hope for without pursuit of actually doing something....

that we all may be whole
that we may all hurt together
and that we may live...

captivated

and lost for words..... it was a little difficult to talk or say anything last night when writing....

not in a bad way... but i couldn't find out why I was so lost for words....

why my heart was stirred in such a way



why I was speechless....



moved in Love I was....

and drowning in embrace.....

I fell deep in....

and was swayed by the motion of Your waves......




somewhere in speaking I believe God captivated and moved in my soul in a way that has not happened in a while.....in doing what I was suppose to be doing I was drawn closer to God....Not earning his Love....but feeling him so strongly in that time......strengthened simply by moving with me....


and he was there all the time....


the beauty of his presence


the sweetness of his touch....

we can make it magic

all of us together seem to be capable of doing such an amazing thing....

we don't stop

we conquer every obstacle

we make life move when death seems to steal even the smallest murmur.....



we have such a different ability, that I think, makes us limitless.....


just remember there is only one way to do it......
and it is together......
it is with us being whole

no one is worthless
everyone matters....
every

o

n

e....

King's Day

and today my parents made me feel like a king....

i am pretty sure that it is not suppose to be that way

or that that is not the idea behind the celebration.....

but......

a king

a freakin king......

i am extremely thankful.....
honored......
and without words



in joy

May You Queen's and king's be so true to Your design.....


but may You never settle to being just a Queen or a king,
throwing off the splendor of what You were meant to be....
a teacher
janitor
customer associate
physician
server
mother

in.......out.......

on the quickstep

can't falter now

don't let up

rest is only a temporary state, not a longing conclusion






get up with the new day
follow the sun, do as it do, say:
rise, to the corpse when the light breaks the dawn
hold, as the noon gives You all its force
press, when the night encroaches Your glow
ignite, through the darkness as it ravages all


that the light may guide even one home......




Continue to let go
start again
and love ever so deeply

the heart

quite unusual how the heart can hold on to experiences that You think You have so successfully moved passed....

how Your blood pressure can distinguish the intricacies of how deep an experience has reached into You

how difficult it is to let go of what happens....

and how intentional every fiber of the body is....






I got really excited today
and it felt like cool breath breathing from my heart

it didn't feel like I could control it in the moment

it rushed over me all in an instance



on the other side
i also was unsettled some
and it was so unusual how it surges similarly


in both instances....
every beat seem to pulse an emotion through me that I thought I was through with....
randomly
but not so random
just consistently

and every now and then I would just notice the build up of the diligence of this heart of mine.....



so influential that little metronome

so deceptive



i'm glad that this time i was reminded some how to breathe
to come back home
and to long after clarity over emotion

that emotion should not control me
yet not disappear

that i may not be so easily swayed
yet that i may not be un-atuned

that life may have a ear to listen
but not a soul to unglue....




dont trust the heart
but do keep it employed

for it is an ocean of wealth

i don't always

realize when this happens.....

recognize when I am about to falter on something I set out to do....

we're only 3 days into the new year....
and life's wonderful little deterrents almost seemed enough to just give in....

it is amazing how much is determined by discipline....

i'm not sure that me continuing what I'm doing is that....(more like me barely putting pieces together)

but it changes whether i am a quitter or not

it changes what gets done and what is pushed off

it changes from me being like most of the other times who i am
or becoming someone new.



when Your heart is broken....
keep on

when Your soul feels empty....
keep on

when Your feet are weary.....
keep on

when Your brain consumes every thought rather than process it....
keep on



this is nothing close to being even something difficult....
but it most definitely weighed me down
it made me hold on when I haven't had to in quite some time.....

and I think it is teaching me another facet of Love once again......

Just a little whistle

isnt fear a fickle little monster.......

How controlling
Unstable
      And crippling it is

Completely removing us from acting toward what we desire.....

Fear is the enemy of will

Will being the ability to give shape to an idea.....

What would You do today if You knew that You wouldn't fail......

That hung in the office of one of the most beautiful girls I have ever known.....

That I used to be so afraid of.....

For no reason at all.....

Fear doesn't ryme and reason with our intellect and song.....

It doesn't catch its cadence in the rhythms of our hearts......

It doesn't
As it has never belonged..........

It's really baffling to me how great things seem to be going right now.....

I am trying to remember that the only thing that may be worst than fear is to get comfortable......

And that the only place fear will have for me....

Is to point me in the direction of what I should be diving into

Open and free

New Year with new dreams, letting go of old fears of lost dreams,
that shadow this new thing
or old thing
we begin again
since starting new is not always as lovely as finishing through......

Finish what has begun....

and always be ready to start anew....

We hope to rise

and rise

again.....

no matter how many times we may have to

we must not quit

but continue where the many grow weary......

26 has been excellent....

and Love captures me fresh randomly it seems

with every new year growing in excitement.....

i really don't deserve the joy i have been given.....




may i never lose this joy....


yet lose it all over again.

we are never at rock bottom....

but if we find ourselves down....

how lovely the climb shall ever be.