relatively sweet

in the deepest of settle-ings.....i find it most intriguing to stir in me....

to quiet myself.....

unscatter the thoughts....

and breathe





there is an openness quite unique.....that feels ever so sweet
but hardly seems able to be found.....

rather....

it arises from a lack of longing.......
not that longing sends it away....

but almost something that is usually stumbled upon rather than discovered intentionally.....

as least when You've been away for awhile.....



when attending regularly to this rhythm of waves crushing away the most vocal impulses.....
it is as though You recognize the dance.....

You may not be able to just turn on a song to create the cadence of the body......

but the more You are in the steps....

the more You sway so intentionally to that sequence.....


the more You know how to groove in it ever so right.....

and so relatively sweetly...

deep in the soul.....open in the light

ending work
coming home
and creating some space

and everything and You in between.....

this has truly been a most beautiful day......and its been a long time.....a loooooonnng time....since one like this.......i guess i should of expected it....
for peace to return......

and to find it by leaving worry....

Romans 8 has been on the brain and will be my focus for the month....v.31 down....my friend Adrianna mentioned it....and it sounded good....but for some reason its really hitting me know when I ended up on it a few days later.....

my other friend Kristin wrote this, and it moved me at the end with Matt. 6



its crazy, two amazing ladies who are making a difference in my life that I barely talk to

Ladies are important to have in Your lives as friends....the ones that I have are monumental to creating the person I am today....And I'm thankful for the ones I don't get to talk that inspire me just be being themselves.......

Gents: grow up, or be like kids......actually be like kids, cause while girls kinda have cooties(coodees? coo D's?) as kids.....they were allowed to be our best friends without ever treating them wrong.....or worrying about who liked who.....You get to be deep friends....valuing each other for any and no reason at all.....boy, girl, fat, skinny, ugly, pretty......friends........

and Ladies: after You know that You won't have to beat the guy over with a wrench to leave You alone(cause there have just been too many guys taking mental and physical advantage of women), trust the guy, or guys.....be friends....stick him in the friend ZONE! but he needs You just as much, if not more, as You need a guy You can trust and talk to...and one that is not a family member.

I will say briefly....i have had a strong hate in my heart...i know hate...way too emotional sometimes, for women that just would not talk. or thought all I was doing was trying to date them, was crushing on them, or had these legalistic views of male and female relationships.....

but we created that as men.....we helped them create those views with our ignorance.....and I'm not saying women are incapable for thinking and making their own ideas, i don't think that could be farther from what i think......

i just want to say sorry for my ignorance....
sorry for my hatred that You never, no one ever, deserves.........





Today
totally
beautiful:


Except for Brazil.....dang...my heart still hurts for Brazilia......UGGHHHH
but beautiful none the less....


anyways.....

Love has found a way and it is quite lovely to see.....

here's another try, we fail,

I fail, but I have to try writing again.....